{kindergarten}

The post also known as "{should have bought stock in kleenex}".

No, it's actually been a lot better than I imagined, but I do admit to a few tears and little anxiety. And that's just me! Cassidy has handled the transition really well. She did mention multiple times in the last few weeks that she wasn't "ready for kindergarten yet, mama." but in the end she hopped on the bus with barely a backward glance. 

My type A self was relied heavily on friends who have had kids at our elementary school and her 4K angel of a teacher to figure out what was going on the past couple weeks. We shopped for supplies, got mostly the right items, figured out the bus schedule and then waited. Apparently there is a lot less hand holding {for the parents!!!} from the administration compared to preschool. {cue anxious tears} But yesterday at the Meet and Greet, most of the missing pieces fell into place. 

Cassidy & I rode the bus together from her stop to school. Her driver's name is Mrs. B. Mrs. B drives Bus B. How convenient. Then we swung by the class lists, which didn't get posted until that morning because almost 60 students registered the prior day. Poor administrators & teachers!!!! After that it was off to Mrs. Musselwhite's classroom. What a fun place! Cassidy made fast friends with some boys - who we found out live in our neighborhood - playing blocks, then play-doh and exploring the classroom. We did a practice walk from the bus area to her classroom, snapped a picture with her sweet new teacher and then headed to the cafeteria to sign daddy up for PTSA. Hmm, I wonder if he'll catch that! Since we live in the neighborhood right next to school, we decided to just walk home instead of waiting for the bus. She looked too big just walking ahead of me, as if she'd done this a thousand times before. {cue tears}

Today she bounded out of bed, ok, let's be real, she got out of bed with no fussing and was clearly excited. Last night we read Llama, Llama Misses Mama and The Kissing Hand to prepare {me} for her first long day away from home. {cue tears} This morning she opened a first day of kindergarten gift of a heart shaped locket with pictures of Mommy & Daddy inside. We told her that it was her special kissing hand gift and that she could squeeze it if she missed us during school. {cue tears...are you getting the kleenex reference yet?!?} Then it was a quick breakfast, some obligatory pictures - the sign says, "1st day of kindergarten, I want to be an artist, singer & dancer when I grow up!" - & the whole family to the bus stop. {cue tears} We're so proud of our little girl!

{he told me this morning}

Cade told me this morning that he's never getting taller than me, won't drive a car, won't wear a tux & take a girl to the prom. Ever. He's staying little like this forever. Right?



- Posted from my iPhone

{the ten second tea party}

Range of emotions there, right? It's pretty typical of our very-much-a-two-year-old these days. Kalea is talkative, interested in everything, imaginative, helpful with her little brother, instigator to her big sister, snuggly, kind, silly, wiggly, expressive, curious, creative and beautiful. Love her to pieces.

{mama's boy}

- Posted from my iPhone

{three lumps on a bl....}

...blanket. You thought I was going to say blog, didn't you? 

I cannot believe how big these three little lumps are getting. Cade is sneaking up on his sisters weight-wise - closing in on 15 pounds; Kalea is honestly the funniest little person I know; Cassidy may as well be 14 instead of 4. The big girls each act their age - both in good and not so good ways & I'm proud of them for generally making good choices, being polite, loving & empathetic toward each other and toward others. We have our days where they about end up sold to the gypsies but at the end of each day I know our little family is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I admit that the transition to being a stay-at-home-mom (hereby abbreviated SAHM) has been tough for me. You'd think that things would be all rainbows & puppies since I spent a couple years as an early elementary teacher so seemingly should have lots of tools in my arsenal for learning, behavior and everything, but with your own kids - and with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - it's just different. Everything seems bigger - the highs of laughter, giggles, snuggles and baby kisses and the lows of tantrums, talking back, all out fits on the floor and disobedience. It's a work in progress here at our house, one that I'm guessing is going to be progressing for a long time! 

{potty talk}

I officially call it. We're back to one child in diapers! Whoohoo!

Kalea has been showing interest in the potty for a while but I heard enough "regression" horror stories of children who were good & trained but when a new sibling was born they had to do it all over again. Then once Cade arrived I was up to my ears in adorable newborn, nursing or changing his diapers every five seconds so I put it off some more. But, as of the first of the year, potty training began. It was pretty much a fail for the first few days, even though she looked super cute running around without a fluffy tush!

But then things started to make sense, there was less telling us after the fact & more running at full speed yelling, "I go potty! I go peepee Mama!!" And, for the past week there have been no accidents, we've traveled out of the house without pullups & she's even stayed dry overnight for the past three nights! I'll faint if she ends up being overnight trained before 2½! She's getting so big!

{cade milton}

Cade Milton was born on Friday, October 28, 2011 at 10:47 a.m. weighing 7 lb 13 oz. & 19.5" long. 

At 37 weeks and some odd days, in the wee hours of the morning I woke up feeling a little strange & made the requisite pregnant middle of the night trip to the bathroom. Strangely I was bleeding which was both unusual & alarming. After convincing Michael to wake up we decided to call the midwife on call to figure out what to do. At that point I wasn't have regular or painful contractions but the blood had me on edge. She called back after a while & wanted me to go to Labor & Delivery. I asked if I could wait until normal office hours - after figuring out what to do with the girls since that hadn't been planned yet! - but she was worried that morning traffic might be a problem if by that point I was in serious active labor. 

After a quick shower Michael called Diana, my wonderful friend who came to save us in the middle of the night, to come to the house to be with the girls & then take them to Miss Robin's house to spend the day. I called my parents & texted my sisters to let them know we were heading into hospital. I still wasn't completely convinced that I was in labor though since neither of my other labors began anything like this. Michael finished getting the last minute things for the hospital ready I hopped in the shower. While I was showering the contractions began to pick up a little - being more painful & coming closer together. Diana arrived as I got dressed. I came downstairs, made a list of important phone numbers & the girls' schedule and tried to eat something while I talked to her for a few minutes. Apparently this was pretty amusing because I'd be chatting along like a normal person & then just gasp (contraction!) then continue on as if nothing was out of the ordinary! Eh, third time, no problem, right?

We left for the hospital somewhere around 5:30 am. And stopped for gas on the way to the hospital. Yes, again Michael's car didn't have gas. At least I didn't have to pump it myself through contractions! We parked in the deck & walked inside together. I checked in to triage & they checked me out. Yep, pregnant! Yep, in labor & at 6 cm! It was a very different experience than at IMC in Salt Lake. There I went directly to the room where I delivered & my midwife came quite quickly & stayed with me for nearly the whole process. Here I was in a triage room for what seemed like a really long time & only saw L&D nurses who, while very nice, weren't my midwife. They also insisted that I get a hep lock in case I would need IV fluids or antibiotics during or after labor/delivery. That I was not happy about, but honestly figured it wasn't worth fighting and I just wanted to get to my real room. 

Once there - no idea how long it actually took - one of the midwives arrived. I was checked again & had dilated a little further. She left to check on some other patients & I was taken care of by the most wonderful labor & delivery nurse. She got me juice & made sure I was comfortable. Michael got out the baby names book & started reading me names. We had just started seriously talking about baby names the week prior & were no where near close to a decision. Between contractions he called out a gazillion names & I shot most of them down or gave him dirty looks. I don't think I was on my best game for name deciding at the time. By about 10:30 am I was in pretty constant pain with contractions coming right on top of each other. Our wonderful nurse checked me & said that she was next to sure that if the midwife would break my water baby would be born. My water was broken by my midwives for both Cassidy & Kalea so I knew she was probably right.

She was barely out the door to go call the midwife when SWOOSH, water breaks! From that point it was just a flurry of activity. Nurses & the midwife flew in getting gowned up as they ran, lights pointed in my face (to which I told them to turn those things off!), me puking on poor Michael (two out of three deliveries = puking right before delivery!) & someone telling me not to push. Right. As if I had any control over that. With no real pushes, just my experienced body doing what bodies do, Cade was born! I don't even think it was five minutes from when my water broke. I guess when he was ready to arrive, he was ready. Michael was the first to tell me that we had a son. A son!

project 365 photo: 06.26.2011 {moo}

Last night Cassidy had been in bed since 8 sleeping. She must have woken up & knocked on her door to get my attention. When I went to see what she needed we had the following conversation:

C, "Mommy I heard something outside."
Me, "What did it sound like?"
C, "I think it was a cow."

After a hug she went back to sleep. I could barely hold it together. Afterward I laughed so hard I was crying.





We have yet to find the cow in question. Maybe it was this one hiding in the freezer?

- Posted from my iPhone

project 365 photo: 01.29.2011

It was a very proud day. After three weeks of trying, Cassidy filled every spot on her responsibility chart this week & got her long awaited prize: fairy wings! Tinkerbell herself dropped them off.

Cassidy's behavior has improved lately. A few months ago, right around her third birthday we had a really hard couple weeks. Nothing seemed to make sense with her behavior, nothing seemed to prevent meltdowns & nothing seemed to calm her down. We talked to her pediatrician & another doctor about what was going on because I know I am not a perfect parent. Far from it.

They told us this about our child: she is beautiful, bright & spirited. In their professional opinions Cassidy is a very spirited little girl who has tons of opinions & feels things very keenly. There is a disparity between where she is intellectually/developmentally & where she is emotionally/developmentally & that she hasn't learned the skills to handle her emotions.

It was good to hear, during the conversation that we are doing a lot of the right things such as teaching about feelings, not pushing "timeout" but instead talking about calming down time & calming her body, giving limited choices, letting her interact with more kids now (like preschool & Little Gym), etc. She did caution about trying to rationalize/reason with Cassidy which was a good reminder, since it ends in a power struggle when we engage her. A final suggestion was to begin using concrete, positive behavior reinforcement, something I had considered but thought she might be too young to understand. And, as evidenced by the grins above, it's working.

I know that this isn't rocket science & we aren't the first parents to have a very energetic, strong willed, imaginative child, but it's the first time we have done this. Most days we get through without both of us crying; some days we get through the day without either of us crying. Each day is a new adventure but, thankfully, we're in a better place today than we were three months ago. 

living in the moment.

photo credit: Nina Cochran

Yesterday a good friend was kind enough to come to our house & watch Kalea while I co-oped at Cassidy's preschool. She & her son got there at 10:30 am & were going to stay until we got back around 1:00 pm. As Cassidy & I prepared to leave I said, "Did you eat lunch yet?" Her response, "No, Jackie. It's 10:30." Oh, that's right.

But, in my head, I was already out the door, to preschool & back, in the house & had hungry children waiting for lunch. Because that's how most Fridays look to me. And because, particularly as a mom, I feel like I am constantly 10 steps ahead of right now.

Feeling a little embarrassed, I drove to preschool wondering how many times I was busy planning for the next thing while I missed the present. Or how many times technology & the need to be connected has actually disconnected me from the little living, breathing, cuddling, giggling (or screeching) humans with whom I spend most of my time.

Honestly the phrase "live in the moment" seems wise but unattainable. Like all good techno-moms, I Googled it to see if anyone else could lend some advice or insight. WikiHow has a 6 step program, eHow has a 7 step program to perfection & numerous other sites list things like taking time out for self (does the 2 minutes I locked myself in the bathroom today count?), surround yourself with calm (these people never had toddlers) or escaping from material possessions (perhaps Christmas didn't throw up at their house this year like it did at mine). Honestly nothing really struck a chord with me.  

Is it possible to live as a mom in the moment?

I'm not usually a New Year's resolution kind of girl, but do try to test my limits, get uncomfortable sometimes & try thing that aren't easy in the name of growth. So here's my plan to start living in the moment, in a 3 step program none the less.

1. Turn Off - less time on the computer, internet & iPhone
2. Go Low - more time on the floor with the munchkins
3. Get Outside - more time in the great outdoors

So be prepared friends & family, I may not text you back in nanoseconds. I probably won't have dinner ready on time every day & my house will likely look more tornado like than usual. There's a good chance I'll get sunburned this summer & my children will end the day covered in dirt. But I hope that, with these ideas in mind, our family will spend time together rather than simply side by side, appreciate each other more & live in the moment.

in my footsteps.

Walk A Little Slower

author unknown

Walk a little slower, Mommy,
Said a little child so small.
I'm following in your footsteps
And I don't want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they are hard to see;
So, walk a little slower, Mommy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So walk a little slower, Mommy,
For I must follow you.

It's been a tough couple weeks with meltdowns, disobedience & difficulties communicating feelings, needs & wants. We're taking it a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, trying to be consistent & firm. Cassidy is so curious, creative, smart & funny but, wow, some days I need reminded that there will be an end to the growing pains of age 3. So my thanks to the author of this poem who reminds me to slow down & enjoy all the joy that comes with stage too.

babywearing.

Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing mentioned that this month is International Babywearing Month. Since I've been accused of needing a 12-step program for the number of slings & carriers we own, I thought I'd link up a few pictures to celebrate with her. Stop by her blog & leave a link to your babywearing story to enter to win a Sakura Bloom sling too.

maya wrap at the library

I'm not sure where I first noticed babywearing as a trend, but once Cassidy was born I became a believer. Both she & Kalea were always calmest when nestled up right under my chin beginning just days after they were born. 

babyhawk at a baseball game

I know there has been controversy lately about the safety of babywearing & I'm glad that there are people out there who take the time to ensure child safety. The Baby Carrier Industry Alliance (BCIA) states however, in their position paper that "Using a soft baby carrier (“babywearing”) supports baby and mother’s biological need to be together. For mothers, it facilitates initiation and ease of breastfeeding as well as helps mothers form attachments to their babies, care for themselves and their babies during the newborn stage and avoid postpartum depression. In addition, babywearing is practical, comfortable and convenient for caregivers. For babies, it decreases infant crying, colic and infant acid reflux disease. It promotes healthy physical development of the spine, vestibular system, vision and other systems in babies. It optimizes the mental development of babies because worn babies have an enriched environment which, in turn, helps their brains to develop better. Babies in slings spend more time in the quiet alert state known to be optimal for learning and development. Further, it helps babies develop socially and keeps babies safe from the multitude of surrounding hazards of every day life." Check out BCIA on Facebook.

moby wrap & kelty while snowshoeing

So that's a whole lot of words to say: I think my babies were better off close to me than anywhere else. They were (& still are!) happier, slept better & more content when in a sling, wrap or carrier than anywhere else. And, particularly with Kalea, it made me better able to cope, be productive & care for a toddler while caring for an infant. As far as safety goes, I followed the general rule that babies should be worn close enough to kiss. And, really, who doesn't like to be able to kiss a baby at any given moment. Mmmm, sweet baby smells.

hotsling in Moab

So, even if you think it's not for you, I encourage you to try it for a few days just to see if babywearing might work for you. If nothing else you'll get some good snuggle time in with your little one. And, of course, if you need one to try, I've got plenty to share!

ergo - newest purchase...love it for 3 y/o & 1 y/o!

who's on first.

It occurred to me the other day that being the parents of an almost three year old & an almost one year old is probably as ridiculous as the famous skit by Abbott & Costello.

I say this because most of our days are spent trying to decipher what a little one is trying to tell us. All the while she get increasingly annoyed because she is (clearly!) telling us exactly what she wants or needs but we simply don't understand. So we repeat what we think she said, then she repeats what she said before thinking that we might understand if she just says it louder & stomps her feet! And on & on it goes. Just like Abbott & Costello! The other night we did go out to see the Bees play. A friend had offered us club seating & dinner so we couldn't pass it up. There were snacks to be had, yelling to be done at the umpire, dancing & singing with the music & even more snacks to be had! We all had a great time - even if it seemed like a comedy act to the casual observer!
 

the farmer in the playroom.

A trip to the library with Daddy, to give me a short break, was derailed by a massive meltdown by Cassidy this morning. So Kalea got some time with Daddy to herself &, after some calming down time, Cassidy is honing her architectural & horticultural skills by building a farm with her blocks.

I'm pretty sure the meltdown stems from the fact that 10 pm seems to be the new 8 pm according to our dear, strong-willed child. Any suggestions for getting bedtime back on track are welcome!

Happy Saturday!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

mommy & cassidy date.

I try to have special time with my big girl occasionally. Today we went on a field trip to Alchemy, a favorite coffee shop by our old apartment. I got my caffeine fix, some beans for the rest of the week & Cassidy scored a big, pink, flower shaped sugar cookie. Doesn't she look so grown up in that pretty dress?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

perspective

I realize that I've been complaining lately about the stresses of toddler-hood, the terrible twos, teething & diaper rash lately. However the tantrums & teething are, generally, outweighed by loving, fun & silly times. 

My favorite time of day with Cassidy is still immediately after she wakes up from sleeping & snuggles into my shoulder - I don't think I could ever get quite enough of that special snuggle time. She's reaching such milestones lately such as: dressing herself, drinking from a regular cup, beginning to color near inside the lines (with no prompting!), drawing some simple shapes such as a circle & a square as well as learning the meaning of traffic light colors (this means that I now have a constant back seat driver, "stop mama! go mama - go fast!). 

Kalea is a crawling machine these days. When we left for vacation she wasn't mobile. Since we've gotten back she hasn't stopped moving. I hadn't considered baby-proofing the house, since we didn't un-baby-proof since Cassidy was little, but apparently I forgot about fur covered cat toys & houseplants. Oops. So there's been a bit of chasing & a few finger sweeps of her little mouth. All par for the course in second child-rearing, right? Other than the milestones she reached during vacation she's started waving & mimicking sounds like "uh-oh" which I'm pretty sure will soon be followed by dropping things on purpose so that mommy needs to pick them up!

We're terribly lucky to be the parents of such an inquisitive, curious & active children. I keep this in mind today, giving me perspective, as we pray for our friend Kai who, at the precious age of 7 months, is undergoing a liver transplant today, for his daddy who is donating part of his liver & for his mommy who is enduring this tough day. Lots of love, prayers & positive energy to them.

up, up, up & away

A friend said to me the other day, "He's a good guy." referring to the Dawgs fan featured on the left. I had to agree. I know I've said it before, but I can't imagine raising our daughters without this guy. 

It's been a little bit of a rough patch getting back into the routine of home after vacation, particularly for Cassidy. Every day she grows more verbal & gains vocabulary that helps her express what she wants - which can be a double edge sword since she wants it right now...pu-weeeeese! There have been multiple meltdowns each day, but lessening as the days pass. I tend to try the distraction technique first & if that doesn't work (or makes it worse!) just ignore the tantrum until she gives up & moves on to something else. Bless Michael though, since he has more patience than I do in attempting to diffuse meltdowns.

Watching him interact with Cassidy, & Kalea too, reminds me that there is often more than my one way to parent and, if I close my mouth & stop micromanaging long enough, our daughters will learn skills I couldn't have taught them myself, how to adapt to different situations and people.

Letting go also gives me those moments of reprieve as well. Although I strive to be SuperMom, in reality I know that I need to accept help & take time for myself. I'm a better parent when I've had even a half hour of distance.

So, moms & dads, grandpas & grandmas, pet-owners & parents, how do your parenting styles differ &/or compliment one another? What things do you do when you need time to re-energize?

p.s. Thanks to Gigi at Kludgy Mom for featuring us as her first "Surprise Stalker" victim! Click here to read her kind words & get to know her a little better!

p.s.s. Did you notice the cool new sharing buttons by each comment section? Indulge me & press a few!

his part of the marriage.

I've been known to reply to certain questions people ask me with the phrase, "Ask Michael, that's his part of the marriage." There are certain things that, when we made a lifelong commitment to each other, I breathed a sigh of relief because I no longer had to hold complete responsibility for understanding. For example, insurance. Why on earth would I sift through that complicated mess when I married a man who majored business & focused on risk management & insurance (btw - who does that? really?!?). Or the square footage of our house...something I probably knew at one point, but have let it escape my brain to make room for other important things like baby spit, potty training & playdates, so I don't have a clue now. So when things like that come up, he takes the lead. And of course, he leaves some things up to me to take the lead on too. Like education, coupons & blogging. It works well. 

It is quite a balancing act to be married & to be parents. Our babies are just beginning life &a already we're beginning to feeling the rush of scheduling, schooling & shuttling place to place. I'm lucky to have a partner who willingly participates & work schedules that allow that to happen. I'm no expert, but it seems like parenting (& marriage) has to have a give & take, a leader & follower who swap roles depending on the circumstance. The sheer fact that my child asks each morning, "Where we going, mama?" leads me to believe that we're in for a busy next 18 or so years. And I just can't imagine doing it with anyone else.

In any case, one of "his parts of the marriage" involves gardening. In all honesty, I think I'm better at killing flowers, vegetable & most other plants than making them grow. So, I'm lucky to have married a man who knows what to do in the garden. Flowers are in full bloom right now, smelling & looking great. Hopefully, in a few weeks the vegetables & herbs will follow suite...not that I'll take any credit for them! But I will cook them up & blog about the recipes we try out of our own backyard. Here's just a few of the gorgeous flowers in bloom right now.

I can't imagine we don't have room to grow & learn from you. So, tell me, how do you divide up the marriage or parenting responsibilities?

life with a toddler.

Cassidy attends Little Gym classes each Thursday. Each week has a theme. Today's theme was "Your Enchanted Child" & the teacher talked about how much & how quickly children change, particularly at this age. She mentioned how they could change in a matter of 5 weeks...to which I responded, "Or a matter of 5 minutes or 5 seconds!"

I'm clearly not the first person to raise a child or have a strong-willed toddler. Each day has it's ups & downs, blissful squeals & raging screams. According to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, the author of Raising Your Spirited Child, spirited children fall somewhere into the spectrum of the following nine traits: intensity, persistence, sensitivity, perceptiveness, adaptability, regularity, energy, first reaction & mood. Things that may not necessarily bother or trigger another child will cause a scene for my darling girl. 

As a parent I've learned to be a master of prevention...always carrying snacks, staying on a nap schedule, constantly introducing new distractions or activities at home or on errands. It's kind of exhausting, quite honestly. I've had to recognize my somewhat "spirited" self in the process of learning to parent. I never would have guessed that I'd have to give myself a timeout because a two-year old was getting on my very.last.nerve.ever. I probably wouldn't have guessed how excited I'd get over watching ants march down the driveway or using the potty or playing with Dora either.

Amidst the meltdowns about putting the milk away or having her chair in not quite the right place - Cassidy is growing into an enchanted, beautiful, thoughtful little girl. And perhaps too quickly for her mommy's liking. Life with our toddler is a daily adventure. I'm such a thankful & lucky mom to get to grow & learn with her.