Monday, March 29, 2010


"People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry."
--Paul Reiser, Babyhood

Back long, long ago when I took my first trip across the big pond to visit France, BFF Sara made me a care package for the long flight. Included, among yummy treats, cute little notes, photos & assorted items, there was a book by Paul Reiser called Couplehood.  I finished it before the flight was over & nearly peed my pants about three times. The sequel, Babyhood, wittily tells just how having a baby changes everything.

Monday's blog dare topic says, "Tell us what just drives you crazy about parenthood...what didn't you expect?"  

I don't know that I've hit the "things that drive me crazy" stage yet, unless you count sheer lack of sleep. OK - I may be fibbing a little. The constant toddler repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating until you acknowledge what she's said does get to me on occasion.

I did not expect the transition from zero to one to be easier than from one to two. Before Kalea, I guess I figured that we did it so recently with Cassidy that it would come easily to add another one to the mix. I don't know if it's getting less sleep or chasing toddler while balancing infant or what, but it has been a longer adjustment period this time around. Although it isn't a surprise to anyone, including me, the hours of the day seem to have shortened & there seems to always be something that needs done. I also did not expect, or have even the slightest notion of how much you could love these little people. It's totally cliché, I know.  But they are amazing.

I also didn't expect the transition from couplehood to babyhood to change how Michael & I relate to each other. Truthfully, I don't think I even thought about it. I always knew that Michael would be a wonderful dad & he lives up to that expectation every day. Cassidy adores her Daddy; according to her he can fix anything in the world. Kalea coos when he walks in the door. I couldn't ask for anything more. But I do think we have to keep remembering that we are more than just Mommy & Daddy. Believe it or not, we're married.  And, once upon a time we had more to talk about than poo, potties, diapers & Dora. Paul Reiser is right, having a baby does change everything. We must continue to adapt & grow our selves & marriage just as we nurture & parent our girls.


CaneWife said...

Ewwww! Moisture!!!! :(

So true though.

Babies change everything!

Gina said...

I am petrified about the transition from one to two. And it will happen before I know it.

Beth said...

What a sweet post! You're gonna make it through this phase and then deal with the challenges of the next one and so on until it's back to just the two of you again and then you'll adjust to that too! And it's all beautiful in it's own time and place! :)

Julia said...

wow! great post. 1 to 2 was tricky. mine are 20 months apart. and like you said, the older one is still pretty dependant on you (you'll be fine with potty-training). keeping the marriage fresh is tougher than anything. as i type this, i am sitting at my scrap desk scrapbooking and we are both on our separate laptops. i feel like we just do our mommy/daddy thing then go on our way and some days barely even converse much. it's both of our faults. i miss that lovey dovey feeling like we had in college.

oh how things change!

Sara said...

BAM!! Name Checked! Small pause to celebrate... (Now I shall return to reading the rest of your entry, from the picture I assume it will also mention the lovely Cassidy.)

Sara said...

Wow. Good memory! Sadly, I don't remember said care package contents but know I was OBSESSED with Paul Reiser for a good period of time in high school. You really should make me a book of "our memories" since I've consistently proven unable to recall both the big things (graduation day) and the small (see above).

Sara said...

I know, three posts, what am I thinking?

But after reading your thoughts on your growing family, how much love you have in your heart for each of them, and how these changes are also challenges, I just had to remind you one more time...

You're wonderful!
Michael & the girls are so blessed to have you and that big giant heart of yours!
And I'm thankful everyday for knowing you.

Jackie said...

Thanks for all the sweet comments & kind words. This was a hard post to get into the "right" words.

@ Gina - You will be great. I know it.
@Julia - That's precisely the line of thinking I had - we sit on our laptop or iPhones & get connected to everything but each other some evenings. But, on a positive note, we did schedule a date for sometime in the next two weeks. Maybe it just takes being really purposeful about making the time to be together instead of just occupying the same space.
@ BFF Sara - I love you. That is all.

Brittney said...

Very well said!!! I often forget that MY DH and I are more than JUST parents.. it def. takes its toll on yah, but we wouldnt change it for the world